Sumo!
Getting sick isn’t fun. I walked around in the rain. And got sick.
Yes, that’s me walking to the station with a tissue in my nose.
And on the way I saw one of the sweetest cars ever.
I think it’s a ’47. Something like that.
The word on the street for about a week was that there would be a free sumo tournament yesterday.
So despite being sick as a dog, I get my ass up early. 6 am is early for me. Trek to the train station all bundled up.
I arrive at Ueno station, ready to switch trains. And I realize. Oh fuck. It’s rush hour.
Yes, all those people are getting on MY next train. Thank God Japan Rail employs people who literally push the passengers onto the train. No Joke.
But I arrived at Yasukuni Shrine a few minutes later than I was supposed to (Sorry Cheska). But at least I was still early. This free sumo tournament was open to the first 6,000 people. We were like the 100th there. But it was good cause we found good seats.
The sumo tournament was awesome. Not only was it great to see fat men in thongs pushing and slapping each other around, they had a few stages of the event. For warm-ups it was mostly unranked sumos wrestling without colored belts. Then came the first ranked sumos, who had colored belts and seemed a little more hardcore. There was an intermission with 2 sumos doing a little skit, making fun of sumo wrestling. It was hilarious and the whole crowd was roaring with laughter. There was also an intermission where a man played a Taiko drum. There was also an intermission where the ozeki ranked sumos gathered around and sang, but also recited some limericks or gimmicky poems or whatever. They sounded funny and people were laughing, so I guess that’s what they were (shit I have to work on vocabulary).
It got pretty damn cold so I decided to buy some vegetable soup. I’m sure that’s what it was. At least I didn’t find any weird squid, octopus legs or anything else strange floating around in it. So I ate it. And it tasted good. And it was warm. Happiness is warm soup on a cold ass day.
Oh yeah, during another intermission the grand champion/yokozuna, Asashoryuu, made an appearance. He did this awesome little show that I’ve seen him do before on TV. And he was doing it 30 feet from me. His Chinese characters are Morning, Blue and Dragon, so I guess that’s the meaning of his name. He’s actually Mongolian. Surprising that there was also a Czech, a Bulgarian and two Russians. Bunch of other Mongolians as well.
Here are some photos from the tournament….
Priest before the wrestlers came
Warming up
Nice ass
Biggest guy there.
Biggest guy about to wrestle.
More big guy.
A biiiiiiig WEDGIE
One of the Russians about to wrestle.
Throwing salt before the wrestle
Most flexibler wrestler in the world.
The parade of higher ranked sumos. This guy was Russian.
Asashoryuu doing his little Yokozuna dance
One of the Referees
How can you not smile?
Awesome stuff, ey???
The grand champion/yokozuna was there. It was quite a treat. And free.
On the way back had some food at that fair. It’s still up. So I made a move. And had bacon on a stick. And then this pancakey thing that wasn’t as good as it looked. But it was food.
Got the results to my placement test back. I’d have to say I’m satisfied with the results. I think I’ll be content in that class. As long as I get down with the kanji. That’s Chinese characters for all you non-Japanese speaking cats.
I decided to go home early to fight off this cold. So I get home, eat dinner and decide to take a 2 hour nap starting at 8.30, so I could get up at 10.30 and send an email to my school back home.
I woke up.
At 8 am this morning.
So much for 2 hours of nap.
I bummed around pretty much all day and edited these sumo photos, many for my personal website. I spent most of the day trying to think of what crazy Japanese story I’d run into in the past day or so. I couldn’t think of anything. But then came the savior of my Crazy Japanese series.
Japanese TV.
I’m watching a TV program with my host brother, and all of a sudden the program switches.
The title of the new program (apparently it’s filled with comedians):
Team Synchronized Tasting Program.
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
I don’t know how many “what the fucks” I could have rolled into one to express my shock, awe, and whatever other feelings I had. This was fuckin ridiculous. So I watched.
So the first team comes out and it’s a bunch of men dressed as women in swimsuits. And they’re doing stretches and getting ready for the tasting. They’re also wearing nose plugs so they can’t smell the food.
Now the whole point of the program is that they taste the food with their nose and eyes closed, and they have a few minutes of guessing time, where, without saying the name of the food they think it is, they give each other hints as to what they think it is.
After this, they all have to give the answer. The catch is, if any of the 5 “tasters” says it wrong, they all get dunked into a pool of ice cold water.
All the contestants are Japanese comedians, so my host brother is laughing his ass off. I’m laughing my ass off because I’ve never seen anything so fucking ridiculous on TV. Now the Russian team gets dunked, then the Japanese team gets dunked. The Chinese team got dunked. Then the American team comes out. Not only do the Japanese guys put huge fake boobs into their swimsuits, they talk Japanese with legitimate Gaikokujin (foreigner) accents. I nearly shit my pants.
I fucking love Japanese TV.
Oh yeah. They got dunked too.
And then someone pushed the lady announcer into the pool of ice water, after getting out she nearly shit a brick.
Don’t believe me?
Here:
Crazy.
More crazy pseudo-American Japanese Synchronized Tasters.
The Tasting Time
Oh wait. You see that "batsu" there. They all guessed right; Tuna. That guy didn't. Those fuckers are gettin DUNKED.
DUNKED!
What the frozen pool looked like behind those guys. And the warming up tank.
The announcer warming up and being pissed at everyone else.
Who the fuck comes up with this shit?
CRAZY JAPANESEE!!!!
Yes, that’s me walking to the station with a tissue in my nose.
And on the way I saw one of the sweetest cars ever.
I think it’s a ’47. Something like that.
The word on the street for about a week was that there would be a free sumo tournament yesterday.
So despite being sick as a dog, I get my ass up early. 6 am is early for me. Trek to the train station all bundled up.
I arrive at Ueno station, ready to switch trains. And I realize. Oh fuck. It’s rush hour.
Yes, all those people are getting on MY next train. Thank God Japan Rail employs people who literally push the passengers onto the train. No Joke.
But I arrived at Yasukuni Shrine a few minutes later than I was supposed to (Sorry Cheska). But at least I was still early. This free sumo tournament was open to the first 6,000 people. We were like the 100th there. But it was good cause we found good seats.
The sumo tournament was awesome. Not only was it great to see fat men in thongs pushing and slapping each other around, they had a few stages of the event. For warm-ups it was mostly unranked sumos wrestling without colored belts. Then came the first ranked sumos, who had colored belts and seemed a little more hardcore. There was an intermission with 2 sumos doing a little skit, making fun of sumo wrestling. It was hilarious and the whole crowd was roaring with laughter. There was also an intermission where a man played a Taiko drum. There was also an intermission where the ozeki ranked sumos gathered around and sang, but also recited some limericks or gimmicky poems or whatever. They sounded funny and people were laughing, so I guess that’s what they were (shit I have to work on vocabulary).
It got pretty damn cold so I decided to buy some vegetable soup. I’m sure that’s what it was. At least I didn’t find any weird squid, octopus legs or anything else strange floating around in it. So I ate it. And it tasted good. And it was warm. Happiness is warm soup on a cold ass day.
Oh yeah, during another intermission the grand champion/yokozuna, Asashoryuu, made an appearance. He did this awesome little show that I’ve seen him do before on TV. And he was doing it 30 feet from me. His Chinese characters are Morning, Blue and Dragon, so I guess that’s the meaning of his name. He’s actually Mongolian. Surprising that there was also a Czech, a Bulgarian and two Russians. Bunch of other Mongolians as well.
Here are some photos from the tournament….
Priest before the wrestlers came
Warming up
Nice ass
Biggest guy there.
Biggest guy about to wrestle.
More big guy.
A biiiiiiig WEDGIE
One of the Russians about to wrestle.
Throwing salt before the wrestle
Most flexibler wrestler in the world.
The parade of higher ranked sumos. This guy was Russian.
Asashoryuu doing his little Yokozuna dance
One of the Referees
How can you not smile?
Awesome stuff, ey???
The grand champion/yokozuna was there. It was quite a treat. And free.
On the way back had some food at that fair. It’s still up. So I made a move. And had bacon on a stick. And then this pancakey thing that wasn’t as good as it looked. But it was food.
Got the results to my placement test back. I’d have to say I’m satisfied with the results. I think I’ll be content in that class. As long as I get down with the kanji. That’s Chinese characters for all you non-Japanese speaking cats.
I decided to go home early to fight off this cold. So I get home, eat dinner and decide to take a 2 hour nap starting at 8.30, so I could get up at 10.30 and send an email to my school back home.
I woke up.
At 8 am this morning.
So much for 2 hours of nap.
I bummed around pretty much all day and edited these sumo photos, many for my personal website. I spent most of the day trying to think of what crazy Japanese story I’d run into in the past day or so. I couldn’t think of anything. But then came the savior of my Crazy Japanese series.
Japanese TV.
I’m watching a TV program with my host brother, and all of a sudden the program switches.
The title of the new program (apparently it’s filled with comedians):
Team Synchronized Tasting Program.
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
I don’t know how many “what the fucks” I could have rolled into one to express my shock, awe, and whatever other feelings I had. This was fuckin ridiculous. So I watched.
So the first team comes out and it’s a bunch of men dressed as women in swimsuits. And they’re doing stretches and getting ready for the tasting. They’re also wearing nose plugs so they can’t smell the food.
Now the whole point of the program is that they taste the food with their nose and eyes closed, and they have a few minutes of guessing time, where, without saying the name of the food they think it is, they give each other hints as to what they think it is.
After this, they all have to give the answer. The catch is, if any of the 5 “tasters” says it wrong, they all get dunked into a pool of ice cold water.
All the contestants are Japanese comedians, so my host brother is laughing his ass off. I’m laughing my ass off because I’ve never seen anything so fucking ridiculous on TV. Now the Russian team gets dunked, then the Japanese team gets dunked. The Chinese team got dunked. Then the American team comes out. Not only do the Japanese guys put huge fake boobs into their swimsuits, they talk Japanese with legitimate Gaikokujin (foreigner) accents. I nearly shit my pants.
I fucking love Japanese TV.
Oh yeah. They got dunked too.
And then someone pushed the lady announcer into the pool of ice water, after getting out she nearly shit a brick.
Don’t believe me?
Here:
Crazy.
More crazy pseudo-American Japanese Synchronized Tasters.
The Tasting Time
Oh wait. You see that "batsu" there. They all guessed right; Tuna. That guy didn't. Those fuckers are gettin DUNKED.
DUNKED!
What the frozen pool looked like behind those guys. And the warming up tank.
The announcer warming up and being pissed at everyone else.
Who the fuck comes up with this shit?
CRAZY JAPANESEE!!!!
posted by Piotr Jakubowski at 8:59 AM
3 Comments:
Absolutely hilarious! XD
Jesus Christ...I feel like my heterosexuality is in question just for looking at those photos...better go have some sex with my hand while looking at hot female porn.
YAY sumo.
and yay for sumo boxes in may.
and also, while i'm yay-ing, yay for nomikais, irish pubs, 80s music, pobbies, and ice cream.
amen.
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